祈禱會時講到今年的該感恩的事，心裡就想起一個英文生字——manifold
。這個字現今除了數學家之外，幾乎沒有人會用。
O LORD, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches. (Psalm 104:24, KJV)
在 Google 上找到這個：The Manifold Grace Of God (George Müller of Bristol)。
從自己做得不好的地方，轉到留意該做的地方。很佩服姊妹的那顆心，尤其是就在正正身邊的人事的那顆心。另一方面，又留意到幾位主日學導師的思考方式分別……覺得這配搭實在是妙極了。神這個安排實在太好。
今早的兩堂講道聚會，似乎是特為指出我的罪而設的。無論是基督徒個人應有的氣質，或者在所處之地的見證，講員講的例子總是正正的講到我的問題。有時，自己也會懷疑所流的眼淚到底是真是假。到底怎麼了？
還是今早靈修時讀到的經文好：「在人不能，在神凡事都能。」自己的信心，能跟上去嗎？
查經查到羅馬書十二章。開首的「所以」一詞，似乎還有許多的道理。
漢業的回來，他口中說自己沒有面目見大家。只是大家的喜樂已經遠遠大過這一切。我們的神由始至終一直是那位能夠獨自成就大事的神。有時候的灰心，只是自己無知沒有明白過來
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. (Matthew 18:23-27)
再次讀到這個比喻。從前每每讀到時，都會集中在二十八到三十五節（馬太福音這一段，似乎也是以此為主）。今次只讀頭一半，感覺不太一樣。
一萬他連得(ten thousand talents)銀子在工人的眼中是怎樣的數目呢？
這是在葡萄園工作六千萬天的工資。換句話說，就算讓那僕人多活一千年，不吃不用，仍沒有法子還清。
一萬他連得在王的眼中是怎樣的數目呢？
從現代的眼光，很難想像得出當時的王能有多當有。（大衛預備給殿的銀子就已經有一百萬他連得，其中精煉的就有七千；乃幔為殺以色列民又預備捐出銀子一萬他連得。）我也無從估計。只是我想，這一千他連得大概就像在金融海潚消失的錢。富商們失去這些錢是他們不願意的；但那王免去的，卻是心甘情願。（這個比較似乎不太合適）
或者，人（包括我）有時也會像那僕人無知地說：「將來我都要還清」。
或者，人會想這樣無用的一個僕人，不值得王為他付出這麼多。
只是，主人的慈心遠遠的比人能想像的多。
自己的說話有點笨拙，因為自己還有很多的不明白。
就是貼在 Daily Devotion 下的這一篇
有 1 篇回應
是否將一切獻上？
Is Your All on the Altar?（一） 你渴望有平安，期望信心長進，曾恆心地祈求與仰望；
但不能有安息，得不著大福祉，除非你將一切全獻上。（二） 你若願與主行，在主道光明中，當得著真平安心滿足，
必要遵主美旨，將一切獻壇上，你才能脫離眾罪污。（副） 你所有是否作活祭獻在壇上？聖靈是否管理你心？
你若將身、心靈交在主的手裡，必蒙主賜大享安寧。You have longed for sweet peace,
And for faith to increase,
And have earnestly, fervently prayed;
But you cannot have rest,
Or be perfectly blest,
Until all on the altar is laid.Refrain
Is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid?
Your heart does the Spirit control?
You can only be blest,
And have peace and sweet rest,
As you yield Him your body and soul.Would you walk with the Lord,
In the light of His word,
And have peace and contentment alway?
You must do His sweet will,
To be free from all ill,
On the altar your all you must lay.Refrain
Oh, we never can know
What the Lord will bestow
Of the blessings for which we have prayed,
Till our body and soul
He doth fully control,
And our all on the altar is laid.Refrain
Who can tell all the love
He will send from above,
And how happy our hearts will be made;
Of the fellowship sweet
We shall share at His feet,
When our all on the altar is laid.Refrain
Elisha A. Hoffman, 1900
自從退出申請之後，這幾個月心裡不時的想：「什麼時候才可以？」或者是：「這樣的我，可以嗎？到現在還有這種想法，似乎證明之前的確還未是時候。
自己私下的生活，沒有好好的過；從前一些該忘記的人事，還是不敢面對；口裡說不願意，心裡還是暗暗的想……這些話可以對誰說？
「罪人中我是個罪魁……」下一句是什麼？怎麼我總是不會細細的想？
……and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”(Mark 9:24)
[SOME STORY ABOUT CHOPSTICK, HELL AND HEAVEN. INCLUDE AN ANALYSIS OF WHERE DID THIS STORY CAME FROM, WHO USED IT AND WHAT IS IN IT - DELETED FOR OBVERSE REASON]
這個故事，做一個簡單的 Find And Replace，就有基督教、佛教和童話故事版本了——在主日講台上、在佛教雜誌上或是用 Email 傳閱都可以。只是當眾人以為美的時候，不是該小心一點嗎？
家中的兩本詩歌集，有太多的歌不會唱……有時候，真有點恨自己為什麼不會讀譜。試過一下要學，但似乎學不會。理論多多，卻就是哼不出來。
近來唱多很多遍 Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus，其中的一句 “Look full in His wonderful face” 讓我想了一段時間。到底是 “for a look”，還是 “look full” ？
Keep on Beliving (by Frank C. Huston)
Sometimes, the shadows gather, and mists obscure the way;
Sometimes, the clouds grow heavy, and darken all the day.
How precious to remember our father’s loving care,
That He still loves his children, and He answers prayer.Refrain
Keep on believing, God will answer prayer;
Keep on believing, never despair;
Tho’ you be heavy laden, and burdened down with care,
Remember God still loves you, and He answers prayer.
Sometimes, the way is dreary, We seem to walk alone.
Forgetting that the Father keeps watch above His own.
How many needless sorrows the faithless have to bear,
For God still loves His children, and He answers prayer.Refrain
O soul, weighed down with sorrow, beneath a heavy load.
Remember God will help you, however rough the road.
His grace is still sufficient for ev’ry load of care,
God ever loves His children, and He answers prayer.Refrain
《堅定相信》
(一) 有時黑影來遮掩，煙霧隱蔽前路；
有時黑雲增無已，白晝竟亦似暮。
當記得我們天父，祂慈愛的看顧，
神仍愛祂的兒女，且垂聽禱告。(二) 有時道路甚荒涼，似覺孤單獨行；
已忘記慈悲天父，看顧屬祂的人。
多少憂傷冤枉受，都因信心失掉，
神仍愛祂的兒女，且垂聽禱告。(三) 你若愁苦壓心頭，背負重擔難受；
路途雖崎嶇難走，記住神必護佑。
祂恩典必夠你用，足可忍受煩惱，
神永遠愛祂兒女，且垂聽禱告。(副) 堅定的相信，神垂聽禱告；
堅定的相信，不要失望；
你擔子雖然極重，愁苦又壓心頭，
要記住神仍愛你，祂垂聽禱告。
己經到了一個講多錯多的地步。
上個主日學，偉傑問大家什一在新約裡有沒有什麼跟據，要大家回家查考。
本來是主日學問的題目，卻在團契回答了。原因是：有些話不能在主日學講。或者聽見的會覺得我沒有講過什麼，但真正的分別在：我用什麼心跟大家講。
雖說是主日學同學，但仍是有一點點分別……是因為自己的問題吧。
